Unbranded and home on the range.

OMG I’m so sorry! … I thought you were a man.

You know what annoys me a bit?

When you’re standing outside the main prayer hall at wherever – the masjid, the community center, the mall basement, – wherever. And its like Jum’ah time right. So, the hall is packed (mashallah). Guys cant get in. Plenty of them are standing outside at the doors, listening to the khateeb. Okay, fabulous.

Then you have these Johnny-come-latelys who arrive literally like five seconds before the khateeb begins the final dua before salatul Jum’ah starts and … either their mothers didn’t teach them any manners, or these guys think they’re freaking Super VIPs – they just push, step in front, or insolently elbow their way through the small crowd, just oh so determinnnnnned to get into the prayer hall. Meanwhile, everyone else outside understands that hey, yeah we do have extra linen sheets which will be passed back, and no big deal, we’ll pray outside the hall. Okay, cool.

So I see this one guy just injecting himself into the crowd, and the iqamah is already done, the khateeb is just being considerate and waiting for the all-clear signal from the back.

Now, the room itself probably holds about 250 people, and there’s maybe another 40 praying outside. I go up to the guy who was so dead set on getting into the room, tapped him on the shoulder and told him that since he was at the back of the room right next to the door, that he would have to repeat the takbeer loudly so that those of us outside could hear and participate in jam’aah properly. He nodded but didn’t say anything. Nodding means agreement RIGHT?!

I stepped into one of the lines that had formed in the hallway outside the prayer room and ever-so-faintly heard the starting takbeer … and I held my breath, waiting to see if the guy I had instructed to repeat the takbeer would follow through.

Man it was like playing a game on the court, and you reasonably expect that your teammates are going to back you up. That they’ll be there when you need them. Like, duh.

Okay, cliffhanger was over, it ended with disappointment. The guy didn’t perform like he should have. Probably needs to grow a pair. Who knows. Maybe his mom. I mentally sighed and did the takbeer myself for the whole prayer so that everyone else could follow. The Pepsi vending machine in the hallway next to me, right in front of the door to the prayer room, was putting out enough noise pollution that I had to strain my utmost each time to hear the imam saying it and hoping that my timing was correct; that I wasn’t preceding him, nor delaying unreasonably.  Rythm, tempo, skillsss. Come on guys, its not that hard.

After prayer ended, I was kinda ticked off, debating whether I wanted to go up to the dude and rip a cold strip off of him. What the hell? You call yourself a man? You bail out on your teammates when they needed you? What was it? You were afraid to raise your voice in takbeer? What? Do you sound like a girl? No wait, even girls can do takbeer. Hell, you probably sound like a mouse. No, WAIT! screw that. A mouse is at least still capable of squeaks and pipsqueaks.

But you? What the hell? Have you never spoken publicly? I’m sure you have. When you’re chilling with your boys or when you see a hot chick. Oh, you’re pretty loud then. But standing side by side in a row, when your brothers from other mothers were counting on you to have a spine and a pair of balls, YOU FAILED.

Guys who cant step up to the plate are just flaky males pretending to be men. LAME. Get to the back of the bus and STAY THERE.

And don’t talk unless I give you permission to.



Filed under: Exhaust, Leadership

6 Responses

  1. sukkar&filfil says:

    you should see what happens in the women’s end of the masjid at times like that… murder by stampede!

    and another thing… brace yourself for rmadhan’s taraweeh prayers!

  2. maverick007 says:

    oh yes … tarweeh prayers …. the time where you can tell who ate what at futour time just by smelling their breath after they burp.

    oh yay.

  3. UmmQ says:

    maverick007 you should go for jummah a bit early so you can hear the adhan. I dont understand why people are always running late! Whats your excuse young man!

  4. maverick007 says:


    haha, actually i do always go early so i can get the khutbah. the above incident was an exception, i was tied up at work so i got there at an undesirable time.

  5. burhan says:

    Dude, wait until you go on Hajj and see how Muslims behave in front of the Ka’aba. People (women and men both) will literally step between you and the next row and you’ll have no place to make sajda.

    The best response to your above situation is to make du’a and donate to the masjid’s renovation fund.

  6. burhan says:

    To amend my comment, I meant that people will stand there at the iqama for salat and you’ll have to do your whole salat with some person standing 18 inches in front of you. This is only if you’re down on the main floor near the Ka’aba, not usually if you’re on the upper levels (although on the third level it gets ridiculously cramped by the balconies.

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