Unbranded and home on the range.

Wow look at the noor on yo fayce!

Your eeman must be like, at an all time high! damn wow! I mean, no really, you’re just positively glowing. lollamagizzlestimesomgtimesathousand!!!!!111

Scientists have recently discovered / confirmed that the human body actually does give off tiny amounts of light.

Read more here.

Oh hell YES. I always wanted to just freaking shine. Like, I wanna be my own flashlight. Hah! Take THAT, Energizer. Up yours, stupid scammers. I always knew there was something fishy about bright neon pink rabbits that wear shades. Its a freaking conspiracy to make us keep buying flashlights and batteries that are really just remote mind control devices invented by Pinky and the Brain to take over my presidential palace on Mars.



Filed under: Body Science, Miscellany


oh shugwucks … someone laced my Coke … again.












Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Miscellany, MSN Ejecta

Dear God could you please Rewind my life?

I saw Jennifer going into the cave in front of me, and others near the entrance as well. Hoisting myself up to the ledge, I adjusted my rucksack and started towards the cave entrance, but on second thought, I slipped it off my shoulders and told Jason to watch it, as I set it down next to the fallen tree trunk he was sitting on. He replied with a lazy murmur: “yeah sure dude, no problem. I got it”.

I sauntered into the cave telling Jenn to wait up, and in reply I heard her voice just a few feet up ahead telling me to hurry up. I didn’t hesitate to let my eyes adjust to the darkness inside and wandered onwards, without noticing the fact that Jennifer’s silhouette was definitely advancing down a slope while I myself seemed to be walking on a fairly level surface …

… and then there was no surface beneath my extended right foot. My body twisted in the air as I fell, and my head hit the opposing cliff face several times on the way down. My cranium made first impact with the rocky canyon floor down below, and a split second later my back slammed into the unforgiving pile. I barely heard myself screaming  as everything faded to black.

When I came to, Jennifer was standing over me yelling if I could hear her. My head hurt really bad and sharp pain was crashing through my back like ocean waves breaking upon the shore. I managed to lift up my head from her jacket that she had folded and placed under my head by that time. Jason was squatting near my feet, with his rucksack beneath my ankles.

“Dude that was freaking nasty! I heard you from all the way up and outside. Are you okay?!”

I was about to respond when I realized something was wrong. Yes, my head hurt like hell, and my back was messed up. But my hips … the mask of contorted agony on my face was soon replaced with one of horror:

“Guys …. my legs? what the HELL?? I can’t feel my legs OHMYGAWD WHAT THE HELL??!!”

Jason and I exchanged looks as it began to dawn on him how serious my accident was. His trembling voice didn’t give me any confidence … “Holy sh*t!! OMG, holy mother, OMG …. SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1!! …” Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Miscellany, Solace

Excessive mumblings

How would you define israaf?

Can I define and constrain it by the boundaries of a box, or must it remain vague and shapeless? Whats exactly is opulence and decadence? Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Miscellany

Gallantry, Generosity, and Gentlemanly Grace.

This is a follow-up post to one I wrote not too long ago, asking the members of my gender to behave in a manner more becoming of a Muslim gentleman when dealing particularly with Muslim women. But on a broader scale, there are certain defining characteristics of a man that set him apart from just mere males. One of these timeless characteristics is chivalry, which unfortunately is found to be sorely lacking in today’s day and age.

I cannot possibly write an exhaustive list covering all the situations which would call for gallant and chivalrous behavior, but the general idea as you’ll see from the suggestions below, is to be courteous and respectful, generous, and sensitively aware of others’ comfort – in most cases below it refers to women – without them having to actually ask you or request such.

Here then, is a short and unfinished list.

Filed under: Gentlemen, Leadership, Women

Into the dark abyss of horrific depravity.

Normally I don’t write about news events.

I don’t feel the need to. I have a really high tolerance level for the non-stop torrent of bad news day in, day out. The collapsing economy. People losing their jobs. People dying in senseless bloodshed. Murder, war, death, destruction, rampant shirk, rape and pillage, inhuman savagery, child abuse, indescribable torture, massive corruption, etc.

None of this makes me flinch or bat a single eyelid. Being a descendant of Dawud [AS], I’m a freakin’ awesomely unstoppable steam-rollin’ freight train. You can throw all the bad news you have at me and I’ll just smile at ya and keep right on comin’. This is the world I live in, and there’s always the bright side, there’s always the eternal hope I have for the celestial amount of khayr and goodness that humanity has within itself.

I honestly thought I had seen and heard most – if not all – of the depraved ugliness that humans can be capable of.

Until today.

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Current Affairs, Exhaust