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Gallows Humor from the Finance World

Here’s one thing there’s still a wealth of: Jokes

09:14 EST Monday, Oct 20, 2008
Globe & Mail

The financial crisis may ruin some banks and throw thousands of people out of work, but it has generated a wealth of jokes spawned by gallows humour. Here is a sample:

Q: What’s the definition of optimism?
A: An investment banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday evening.

***

An investment banker said he was going to concentrate on the big issues from now on. He sold me one in the street yesterday.

***

A man went to his bank manager and said: ‘I’d like to start a small business. How do I go about it?’ ‘Simple,’ said the bank manager. ‘Buy a big one and wait.’

***

The credit crunch is getting bad, isn’t it? I mean, I let my brother borrow a tenner a couple of weeks back, it turns out I’m now Britain’s fourth biggest lender.

***

Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
A: A pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

***

Q: What is the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza?
A; The pizza can still feed a family of four.

***

Q: What does a hedge fund manager with no fund to manage say?
A: Would you like fries with that sir?

***

Q: What is the capital of Iceland?
A: About $3.50

***

I tried to get cash from the ATM today but it said “insufficient funds.” I don’t know if that meant them or me.

***

Mark Twain was ahead of the curve: “October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.”

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2 Responses

  1. sukkar&filfil says:

    aw, common man! you didn’t have to use “britain” in joke 4, LOL.

  2. maverick007 says:

    haha, you been keeping up with all the bank collapses and bailouts all over the world? Britain has had its fair share.

    Canada on the other hand …. 😉

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