Unbranded and home on the range.

Searching for my Holy Grail …

Ever have something you’re looking for but you can never seem to find it? Or at least you never get close enough to touch it? So close yet still so far away. All you get is fleeting, mocking glimpses of it from a distance, or between the trees, and then its gone. Even the itself wind seems to laugh at you and your incompetence. And I don’t think I’d be wrong if I said that for most of us, that Holy Grail would be that moment when our parents are really happy with us and with whatever point we’re at in life so far.

Encore / Numb [Jay-Z / Linkin Park]

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste, is more than I can take

I’ve become so numb … I can’t feel you there
I’ve become so tired … so much more aware
I’m becoming this … all I want to do
Is be more like me … and be less like you

The only hope you have left is basically to keep on going, constantly renewing your intentions that you’re doing it all for Allah’s Sake, and that you know in the end, He won’t allow your efforts to have been in vain.

Because after all, you were seeking His Pleasure above all else – weren’t you?


Filed under: Exhaust, Rune

3 Responses

  1. Umm Khawla says:


    You described it so eloquently masha’Allaah.

    It’s like a never ending road, with stops here and there that only remind you of your inability to please them because no matter how hard you try, you’ll always be imperfect.

    But intention’s the key. It’ll serve as your star throughout the journey, it’ll guide you and give you hope everytime you’re brought down to your knees.


  2. umm313 says:

    Wise words as ever, jzk.

  3. ilanaislam2e says:

    sometimes you have to fight hard–until you feel like you’re starved–but wait. Help comes even if it made you stress until late… and Allah laughs at us at our impatience and distress; knowing it’s a fleeting test. InshAllah our hearts will be put to ease until the next test until we–inshAllah–meet our end–in rest.

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