Unbranded and home on the range.

Selfish and Full Of It.

Do you want to be Selfish, Narcissistic, Loaded, Greedy, Full Of It and yet … still come out on top of the game after it’s all over? Don’t screw your face and squirm in your seat. Its not like this is the first time you’re being asked an existentialist question. Think fast, cut to the chase and make a decision. Just answer the question man.

Yes, or No?

If you’re trying to be momma’s boy or a goody-two-shoes and you answered No, then pack your bags and get outta here. You’re a spineless piece of phlegm with no idea of how to prioritize your own interests above that of others. Adieu. And if you’re sitting on the fence and unsure, then you can join Club No as well, and leave. Thanks for coming and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Ciao.

Now, as for all of you greedy and esurient little loan-sharks who shamelessly said Yes – all right! Lets do lunch.

Here’s the story:

Turns out the Central Bank has a Platinum 5-star plan for investors, with a global reach. Even the lowest-performing stock in their diverse array of portfolios has a return rate of 70% (SEVENTY) compounded annually on the original principal. You can add to the principal amount whenever you like and they adjust the returns by back-dating it to the point of deposit of the original principal.

I checked out their referral program and it is unbelievably out of this world – for every investor you refer to the Bank, you get paid a high double-digit percentage of whatever the Bank pays to the new investor, as an absolute. Meaning the new investor you referred to them will make 100% of the stated ROI on whatever portfolio he or she chose, but your referral payout is on top of that, not cut from it. If the one you referred to the Bank refers others as well, then you not only make a nice percentage off of those new inductees, but you are paid out the original percentage of the new amount that your original referral is now making on his / her own referrals.

If you’re interested in prime real estate, they have a wide variety of portfolios in that sector as well. All of their locales are very well placed and pristine. We’re talking about lush foliage, close to rivers and oceans, breath-taking scenery, stuff folks have never dreamed of.

They also have a preferred partner programs for lenders and underwriters. I’ve personally never seen anything like this.

So, now you want to know what kind of connections I had to go through to get the scoop on such a deal. Did I have to sell my soul? Probably. But greed is a virtue. Even excessive, rampant greed. It can be used as a force for good.

What am I on about?

Well if you think about it, on Judgement Day you’re going to be having a bad day. Stress, like you’ve never known it in your entire life, haha. Sweat is going to be pouring out of you by the buckets. Your hair is going to be growing white at supersonic speeds. You’re going to wish you could go back into your life and just start pumping out good deeds like crazy. I’m not talking about cranking the the faucet up full blast. I’m not even talking about good deeds like the water coming over the Niagara Falls, hell no I’m talking about good deeds like a waterfall the size of the Pacific Ocean, packin’ it on some celestial brand of steroids.

And your single, motivating factor? Greed. You heard me, damn right. Don’t deny it – denial is the most easiest and predictable of all human emotions.

You’re greedy because you want Allah’s Mercy. And you hope that by His Mercy you’ll be entered into Jannatul Firdaus al a3la.

All those good deeds you’ll do with that smile spread like butter across your face, that sincerity, that cute and endearing charm, forgiving others if they wrong you, holding your tongue and hands from undesirable speech and actions, that oh-so pure selflessness … all just a facade for your Greed to to hide behind. You’ll be lying there at night wondering what your bottom line looks like. Billions upon trillions of hasanaat just piling up. And all of it compounded at a factor of 1:70 or more.

Now go back and read it all again, from the start.

You only have this one life, so get going.


Filed under: Laced, Leadership, Riposte

5 Responses

  1. starry eyes says:

    I don’t think anybody got past the second paragraph…they all packed up and left, like you asked 😉

    I was one of the goody two-shoes too, but apparently not good enough to follow your instructions. Very clever btw 🙂 I didn’t know what you were on about until the very end.

  2. magnoona says:

    anaa uhibbukum fillaah

  3. Mariya says:


  4. Mariya says:

    Oh…um..just a cold…=P

  5. BeerOot says:

    show me the money ya ibny where do i sign on the dotted line!

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