Unbranded and home on the range.

Burger King

It’s official. The new world record is 97 burgers downed in eight minutes. That’s like one burger every FIVE seconds. The current record was set by Takeru Kobyashi from Nagano, Japan. He also happens to hold the world record for eating rice balls, hotdogs, and … cow brains … amongst other records. (What about poutine?!)

I’m so jealous.



Filed under: Food, Miscellany

Are we there yet?

No, of course not honey! Can’t you see we’re going in circles?

The Big Ruckus Down Under.

Is it just me? Or is the Western concept of “free-speech” so blatantly lopsided and biased that the misleading moniker should be revised to say “we-speech” ? Why is it that you feel you can say damn well whatever you want about who ever you want, yet when someone else exercises that same right and criticizes you or your statements, you cry foul?

So here we are down under where Shk. al-Hilaly made comments comparing uncovered women to “exposed meat”. And as expected, the ever so predictable anti-Islamic bigots Howard & Co. started spouting vitriol about how these comments were out of step and unacceptable.

Aww. Boo hoo.

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Current Affairs, Riposte

He wants to be rich.

(Who doesn’t?)

So, he came up with yet another get-rich-quick scheme. And its sounds sommit like this:


Abu Sulaiman says:

Abu Sulaiman says:
def gonna be at RIS this year

Abu Sulaiman says:
But the whole reason I’m going won’t be to attend lectures but to meet you guys

سلمان says:
Some of the speakers are okay some are boring
سلمان says:
سلمان says:
So we just walk around the bazaar

Abu Sulaiman says:

سلمان says:
Sit and talk
سلمان says:
Play games
سلمان says:

Abu Sulaiman says:
Maybe (I will) get married there who knows
Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Miscellany, MSN Ejecta

One of those days …

… when my stomach is higher than my nose, if I lie down. (okay okay maybe not)

Abu Ibraheem says:
Abu Ibraheem says:
what you doing ?

سلمان says:
sittin with a full tummy
سلمان says:
i didnt realize how much food i had eaten until i looked at myself in the mirror
سلمان says:
astaghfirullaah I look pregnant

Abu Ibraheem says:
Abu Ibraheem says:
Abu Ibraheem says:
that is funny

سلمان says:
what a loser huh


So, I was at the MSA dinner tonight. Lots of people, and nice food. Lasagna, chicken, rice, taters, yada yada.

3abdo was there with his jokes and tabla, but he did an absolutely piss-poor re-telling of his fireman joke … thank God though, otherwise I might have splurted out the Coke I was drinking had I started to laugh like last time he told it. Hussein was there dissin’ everybody left right center, except when he was begging me to teach him some Urdu so he wouldn’t feel left out when me and Adeel were ripping into each other. Adeel was there walking around like he owned the place – whats so new about that? At least he treated me enough like VIP so I got first dibs on a second helping. Ibrahim had blue hair – yes the same Ibrahim who planned on wearing niqab so all the girls would talk about him. I guess he thought blue hair was a much more surefire way to get them to spin their heads in his direction. I saw Yasin and told him not to feel bad, – misery loves company – because I was there even though I’ve never been a student at UTM, although he kept trying to convince me he was a UTM student. Someone needs to give him some selling skills. Rizwan was there moaning about how he wanted to get hitched but he couldn’t figure out the finances of supporting a wife and what he would do if she turned out to be a shop-aholic. I decided to turn up the heat on him and freaked him out by telling him tales of religious sisters who insisted on their rights of having a separate home. He almost fainted I think, or at least he was sweating like crazy. Wais walked in – unbelievable this kid went from being a scrawny little kid that everyone kicked around in highschool to being someone who looked like he could beat the pulp outta even the biggest NFL quarterbacks. He was seriously packin’ something. Creatine maybe, I dunno. Omar was there getting all wierd on me while we were pickin’ out his gray hairs, asking if I had sent the Eid card w/ comments to the boys and I said “Yes I sent it the same night” to which, he was very shocked and puzzled. Little Yusuf was there stringing his faulty yo-yo crying about how it was broken so I told him to fix it himself, since he has the blood of so many engineers in him and lo and behold, he fixed it on the spot. Just super. Some new kid named Mas3oud tried to pull a fast one on me but I pulled it back on him saying he looked just like his brother Sa’eed. Baby Yusuf was crying in his momma’s arms and then I took him into mine and he couldnt cry because he was so preoccupied with being perplexed while looking at my face trying to figure out who the hell I was. I considered taking him back with me to the table but I didnt want the boys to start congratulating me just yet. Loads of other boys there and I had similarly absolutely random and perhaps pointless exchanges with them. Also known as schmoozing and socializing. The CBC camera guys for the Passionate Eye were there and me and Hussein enjoyed the verbal sniping we were laying on them, oh and we just *know* they heard everything because they had a frickin’ big fat boom mike pointed in our direction over our heads. I pulled some cultural sensitivity political-correctness jargon on them so they didnt videotape the sisters while we were all praying and they acted like I was their saviour. Absolute Morons.

Since I feel like a loser because nabeyuna Muhammad [saws] said the worst vessel a man can fill is his stomach, I’m sitting here hoping this massive protrusion will go away magically somehow. My sister laid on some random statistic about how its scientifically proven that people eat more when they are sitting together at a party and blabbing at the same time. I dont wanna puke so I verbally let it loose up there.

Oh mother. Someone pass me a napkin please.

Filed under: Miscellany, MSN Ejecta

The Italian Job

What the $%#*!! Does the Mafia run PizzaPizza or what?

So, its late at night and I’m burning the midnight oil, and someone suggested food. Being a guy, I can’t resist a good bite. I already had dinner but I was still starving. I wanted some pizza, or a burger, or some poutine. Something thick and juicy I could sink my teeth into, stuff my mouth and later pat my belly. So, I go online to Pizza Pizza’s website and I’m like, totally suckered by their false advertisin’ ya know?


$6.50 for a small pizza and I’m like hey, that fits the bill. Lets have it. So I add on two toppings and opt to have it delivered and … *sticker shock* … the price more than doubled!

Read the rest of this entry »

Filed under: Exhaust

Sit Down!!!

Alhamdulillaah ala kulli haal.

An Ontario Supreme Court Judge ruled today that part of Canada’s existing Anti-Terror law was in violation of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, effectively pushing away a murky smokescreen which has been used only against Muslims so far. Many folks in the legal establishment and within Muslim communities had serious concerns that the vague language of the Anti-Terrorism Act could easily be manipulated to target Muslims, who view Islam as a complete way of life, rather than merely a religion composed of beliefs and rituals. It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out in court … crown prosecutors may have to deal with existing criminal law and go forward based on evidence of criminal intent and activity alone, instead of embarassing themselves by attempting ridiculous little verbal and mental gymnastics, trying to prove that thin ice is thick enough to jump on.

Part of Anti-terrorism Act violates charter: Judge

Justice Douglas Rutherford of Ontario Superior Court ruled that a section of the Anti-terrorism Act that defines “terrorism” violates the Charter of Rights and Freedoms … Rutherford decided to sever a section in the law that defines ideological, religious or political motivations for criminal acts. The rest of the law remains in place.

Read more here.

Filed under: Current Affairs, Riposte

Club Fabulous

It usually goes sommit like this:

JimBob: salamualaikum
Moi: walaikumussalam
JimBob: How are ya?
Moi: I’m absolutely fabulous.
JimBob: I’m fabulous too!
Moi: [Great!] Welcome to da club!


It’s a mind job. I’m tellin’ ya … its in your head. It’s all in your head. And heart. Jannah is right here. Inside. For now.

And no matter what, you can’t take it away from me.

(now now, don’t be all hatin’ on me 😉

Filed under: Miscellany, MSN Ejecta

Idea vs. Execution

Cut out all the fat, all the blubber.

Get rid of all that jazz.

Strip it down to the core.

What’s more important? The Idea? or the Execution?

Some would say its the Idea. The concept, or the thought, or the notion … the supposition, the plan, … its the essential spark, innit? Without that spark, there’s no life, no motion – nothing. Its the refined product of mental activity that gets the wheels turning. It can be so powerful that wars will be started over it, nations will rise or fall, and entire paradigms can be shaken to their very foundations. An idea is born and bred at the speed of thought, which some say is faster than the speed of light. And it is the twin brother of Knowledge, which some say is more powerful than anything known to man, with the exception of Allaah ta3ala.

Some would say its the Execution. You can have a brilliant idea, one that could be worth billions in Intellectual Property (IP) rights, and so on – but without the execution it will remain in its shell, unmentioned and unknown to the world. It is the execution, … the operation, the performance, the delivery, the implementation … that matters, or so they say. A brilliant idea with poor execution is doomed to failure, while even some poor ideas can be sustained and undergo metamorphosis, emerging as solid ideas – on the basis of strong execution. It is execution that drives the idea, that sustains it, the brings it to fruition.

But you can’t create a stock-template execution and apply it to any idea – the idea sets parameters for the execution, but the idea cannot come to life without the execution.

So what’s more important? The Idea? or the Execution?

I can’t figure it out.

Filed under: Leadership, Miscellany

So they say…

So They Say

So they say that you can’t make it
So they say, so they say
But I say that they mistake it
But I say, but I say

And the whole world seems to be leaning on you
And you tell me you don’t know what to do
They don’t know what I know, they don’t know what I know

Wanting to come out is the world you hold inside
Afraid they are for the world outside you will divide
For they don’t know what I know, they don’t know what I know

So I pray that you can make it
So I pray, so I pray
And your mind they’ll try to break it
No later than today

You let them and soon you will be on trial
Give them and inch, yes they’ll steal the mile
For they haven’t flown where we’ve flown

You know the road I speak of and the road that lies ahead
Don’t give up, don’t give up they all must be misled
For they haven’t flown where we’ve flown,
no they haven’t flown where we’ve flown

And the game they’ll think you’ve played it
Their foolish way, their foolish way
But I’m tellin’ you soon they’ll see you’ve made it
And your game is what they’ll play

Filed under: Rune

Two sides of the same coin

“Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion – simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.”

– The Architect (Matrix Reloaded)

I was thinking about how true and deep that statement is. Hope leads you to keep on going even when all odds are against you, it’s what keeps you going even when you’re hardest hit. It’s what you use to overcome apparent logic, it’s what you use to overcome a mountain of seemingly insurmountable obstacles. You keep thinking of the little engine that could, you keep your head down and just whisper to yourself “I think I can, I think I can…” and when you reach the top, you have that million-dollar smile and you say “Yea baby I know I can!!!” I mean, once I get going like that, even the Energizer bunny’s got nothing on me.

But on the flip side, it can be a weakness, it can be dangerous because hope can blind you to obvious facts and realities. It can endanger your well-being, and perhaps even cause you to risk self-preservation in futile pursuit of what may be a an unattainable goal.

So between hope and delusion, where and how do you draw the line?

Filed under: Solace